We live in a high-rise building in New York, which is neighbored by other high-rise apartment buildings, and so naturally my father-in-law gifted us a pair of binoculars. These binoculars have allowed us to witness private photo shoots, the perfect 10 applying her makeup in only her thong (which I was sure only existed in movies), and even a dead fucking body being pulled from the East River. Today I was mopping my living room floor when I passed by the bookshelf where we keep said binoculars. As I saw them laying there, two things suddenly occurred to me:

1) Earlier this morning Biscuit woke up as I was finishing my shower, and it was all I could do to get pants on before she started demanding things of me. I never quite got around to putting a shirt on. Therefore, I was mopping with the girls out.

2) It’s quite possible that any one of our neighbors also owns binoculars.

So if I show up on some housewife fetish site, please know that I was not a willing participant.

2 thoughts on “Binoculars

  1. Love your sense of humor! Looking forward to regular peaks into your world! Btw- Regarding mopping topless- I got free landscaping doing just that kind of thing!


  2. OMG…I must try this! I’m talking about mopping, of course. Not even living next to the turnpike prevents the twins from getting tanned!


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