We live in a high-rise building in New York, which is neighbored by other high-rise apartment buildings, and so naturally my father-in-law gifted us a pair of binoculars. These binoculars have allowed us to witness private photo shoots, the perfect 10 applying her makeup in only her thong (which I was sure only existed in movies), and even a dead fucking body being pulled from the East River. Today I was mopping my living room floor when I passed by the bookshelf where we keep said binoculars. As I saw them laying there, two things suddenly occurred to me:
1) Earlier this morning Biscuit woke up as I was finishing my shower, and it was all I could do to get pants on before she started demanding things of me. I never quite got around to putting a shirt on. Therefore, I was mopping with the girls out.
2) It’s quite possible that any one of our neighbors also owns binoculars.
So if I show up on some housewife fetish site, please know that I was not a willing participant.